Real Men Unite!
by
Monika G Wehrle-MacDevette
 You may well be asking why I would call for men to unite, one week after International Women’s Day. Let me explain. I read a lot, and for much of the past 2 weeks the popular press has had its share of gender-related articles and a plethora of information on climate change. “Climate change will affect women disproportionately”; “women and girls still the majority in the modern slave trade”; “the UN rallies in support of creating a dedicated UN agency on women’s issues”…and the list goes on.
Did you know that one of the findings of a post-tsunami study concluded that far more women and children died in the event than men because, and I quote: “men ran to safety while women stayed behind to rescue children and the elderly; more men than women had been taught to swim, and women stayed indoors because of social prohibitions against leaving home unaccompanied.” John Miller, US ambassador-at-large for modern-day slavery, highlights that modern day slavery is more gender-based than race-based these days. In many cases, it is linked to organized crime, with globalization playing a part in the human traffic trade. In Kenya for example, as drought increasingly affects pastoralists, men are loosing income and so, are resorting to selling their daughters, some as young as 8 or 9, to replace lost income with bridal dowries. No one questions that these are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg of examples of the suffering of women and girls the world over, and that support programmes for women and girls (and let’s not forget young boys either) trapped in and survivors of these situations are desperately needed. So what’s my problem?
My problem is that very little attention seems to be given to the underlying drivers of these behaviors – the demand-side of the equation, (and I would hazard a guess that it’s driven largely, but admittedly not exclusively, by men) – of young girls (and boys) and women for sex and cheap labour, from a need and/or culture of power and control. I know that some of you will say that it is driven by poverty in many situations and that poverty alleviation will alleviate the problem – and in some cases, it may. But in the meantime, I don’t think we should wait for a set of global solutions to world poverty and simply hope that men will spontaneously come to their senses and stop abusing women and children, nor should we somehow rationalize that poverty is a perverse form of justification to selling your eight-year old daughter for a dowry.
There are other situations, where there is a tacit condoning of abuse in society such as “honor killings” of married women by their families if they are unlucky enough to be victims of rape. Where is the outcry from men that this behaviour and attitude is wrong, and that your wife’s horrific experience of rape has not brought a dishonor on you or your family? Or do we condone this because it is “their” custom and we mustn’t interfere with the traditions and customs of others? Where are the programmes to raise awareness in men and young boys that will address social power and control practices that regard women and young girls as having value –but that of a commodity to be bought, sold, traded, enslaved and abused?
Deputy Secretary General of the United Nations Asha-Rose Migiro recently came out strongly on the continued high level of violence against women and girls, and stated that the two international legal instruments most linked with safeguarding the rights of girls could not effectively address the problems because “neither codifies laws that consistently address the plight of girls, while the failure of States to incorporate provisions from the two treaties also led to the persistence of violence and discrimination.”.
At the recent 51st Session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), one of the issues papers was entitled: “Progress in the implementation of the agreed conclusions on the role of men and boys in achieving gender equality”. It highlighted all the good and right things – that men and boys need to be sensitized on gender issues, and that only with the full and active engagement of men in family and work environments could women’s full participation be achieved, and reiterated the history of important conferences calling for governments to promote, enhance, encourage, raise awareness, sensitize, support, et cetera. If States’ failure to incorporate the provisions of treaties they are party to is an indication of progress, then I think its time to go a step further. Hence, my call to action – for men. For men to stand up and firmly say to their peers, their brothers, their sons, their elders, that the time has come to stop, and say an unequivocal NO to the continuing abuse and degradation of women and girls in society.
I confessed to a colleague that I actually loose sleep over this issue and one of the options that I keep coming back to is “my dream team”. I would like to challenge just one man – but not just any man ‑ from each member state of the United Nations, to stand up and be counted as a highly visible role model for those around him, and for the upcoming generations of young men and boys. Who are the men on my dream team? I’m not asking for much - just one sports icon, or one movie idol, or one entertainment celebrity, or one respected politician, or one war hero, or one religious leader, or one revered elder in society, or one member of royalty, or one business leader – just one – from each of the 192 member states, to be the individual and collective voices in the world that just say NO; that the time has come to stop. Real Men Don’t Rape (or Enslave, or Traffic, or Abuse) women and children.
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